slogan 44

slogan 44: "Train in the three difficulties."

The three difficulties are: 1. recognize that your neurosis are just that, 2. knowing that's the root of things, then don't act on them, and 3. let the new pattern be a way of life and strive to release all neurotic behaviors. I've definitely down with knowing my neurosis. Being a child of self-growth, I probably know 95% of my neurosis and their triggers but have maybe mastered 20% of those habitual patterns related to them. Number 2 is the rate limiting factor! I can do number 1 and 3, cause all I have to do is see them and then try to change the patterns. I especially like number 1, because it gives me a good reason to dislike myself. But it's the changed part that I get held up on. I bet we all get held up on that.

I once remember by psych teacher in Naturopathic school talking about the difference between reacting and responding. Most of our actions are a quick and not-thought-out reaction to whatever is in front of us versus a response, which is more calculated and pondered upon. Training in the three difficulties is the same idea: respond, don't react. Essentially all we are ever reacting to is ourselves, so every reaction is just a way to diffuse our neurosis inside us.

I've always considered myself a slow thinker. In a moment of emotion, I can never throw out witty retorts. Its not till days later that I think of what I should have said or how I should have stood up for myself. Inevitable, when I realize what amazing comeback I should have lobbed at this person, I beat myself up for having missed the chance. Maybe another way to approach that slow thinking is to see it as a gift. Since I don't think fast on my feet in a heated moment, then I'm less likely to make a reaction. I'm more likely to respond. If you can't change a situation, then change the vantage point